Birthday Bash Vortex Report via Sarah Seidelmann

-------------------------DOCUMENT: HIGHLY CLASSIFIED-------------------------

for GVU vortextually oriented EYES ONLY

GOOD VIBE UNIVERSITY's 1 YEAR BIRTHDAY BASH

TOP 3 MEMBER METHODS FOR GETTING INTO THE VORTEX:

REPORT prepared by: GVU crack team of researchers including Sarah Seidelmann using the input of many GVU member specialists.

Warning: the act of simply reading a report like this can cause immediate entrance into the vortex- so please proceed with abandon.

DATA COLLECTED FROM: highly vortextual individuals (SELF-selected)

Correlation: top 3 methods are highly correlated with a p value greater than 1 giga-bajillion (>1.0 GBJ). And that's seriously for reals what I would call majorly correlated.

TOP 10 favored methods for entry into so called “vortex” include:

1. PETS: The act of watching them roll over for treats, walking with them in nature, off leash in canyon, napping with them, watching them nap (or just before), getting kisses, cuddling….this is highly correlated among nearly all subjects.

2. DANCING: This includes but is not limited to “dancing in a free way”, “dancing, dancing, dancing” , “dancing to Motown”

3. The sound of human voice of the individual known as “jeannette maw” is reported to have a very efficacious effect on a very high number of subjects. This includes “chat, “her laughter” and just simply hearing “her voice” or mysteriously, when she is “lit-up”---more research is warranted on this so-called lit up state.

4. Nature: contact with nature including but not limited to river flowing, birds singing, eagles, hawks, snowy trails, hiking, wAtching wildlife, running around trees, letting waves pound “self” in atlantic ocean.

5. MUSIC and SINGING were tied. Music that seemed most effective in group studied includes: Motown, Justin Bieber (really?, yes!) , Pat Metheny, south African hip hop, Patrick Hernandez and edward maya mentioned. Further study is def. rec.

singing was reported as loud…often to the point of causing dizziness, freq. performed in the car and some subjects also reported a related activity they mysteriously termed “singing, singing, singing”.

6. Meditation: from just “breathe” (reported by researcher's existential (non- GVU member) husband) to abe mp3 meditation, a secret, “0 second” form of meditation, and so called ecstasy mediation cd. It was unclear what zero seconds meant- or ecstasy for that manner-more research warranted.

7. So-called “rampage of appreciations” (where subjects apparently simply review what is good and well in their lives) is a highly efficacious activity. Subjects give very little detail but its apparently v. good.

8. hugging- honeys, dogs, cats, children and similar subjects. ;arial, helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Sometimes done on a couch.

9. substance that can be chewed up and eaten called “Chocolate”- also appears to have a very strong effect on several individuals.

10. LAST- and (please see footnote) *****SEX, not otherwise specified. Also includes “thoughts of sex” “daydreaming of sex” oh yes, and then there was “delicious sex” and something that was descRIBed

as “delibertately sensual passionate sex” (say more subject!! )

**** this researcher predicts this is massively underreported due to the public nature of this experiment and a smaller uncontrolled private study indicates that this may have landed near number 2. Or 3. If subjects had felt more anonymous.

more study and more sensual pleasure (in the mean time) is needed for all subjects.

FOR FUTURE STUDY:

Other subjects for vortex initiation worthy of further study and reported in inconclusively small numbers include: monkey jammies (just putting them on), writing ebooks (say more!), cat chat giddiness (unknown condition not prev. described), road trips, various foods, comedic films, TV, good books- esp. shakti Gawain and good stories.

Respectfully submitted, Sarah Seidelmann, vortexologist in residence at GVU.

Thank you Nathaniel, jeannette, maria, harmony, laura G, Jody, happyme, Pj999, Annette, Monica, Greg, Christine, Nancy, Lisa, Sophie, Susan, and me!! (hope I did not forget anybody!)

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