Choosing the Best of Both Worlds
Today someone tweeted a question about whether to take a high paying job she didn't love, or a lower paying job she had more hopes of enjoying.
I had just finished an email to a client who was torn between choosing to pursue a relationship with a great girl or follow through on a long held dream to travel the globe footloose and fancy free.
In the meantime, an old friend is struggling with a decision to continue supporting her drug-addicted daughter or to practice "tough love" and write her out of her life.
Is it just me, or do these seem like "no win" situations we're setting ourselves up with?
What if we could have our cake AND eat it, too? What if we could have the best of each scenario all rolled into one?
I'm just sayin' ... what if ..?
My favorite way to open to that "what if" I could have my cake and eat it too, possibility is to: #1 - Remember that everything is possible; all I have to do is dare to imagine it. And #2 to write down a list of pros for the different options I'm struggling to choose between.
Once I've got my list of pros for each alternative, I then combine them into one list and turn that comprehensive "pro" list over for Universe to work up.
For example:
If my boyfriend said we either buy a house and move in together or we're done (he did say that!) and I was torn because while I wanted to continue my relationship with him, I didn't want to give up my home or my independence - the process might look like this for me:
Living together PROs
- Our relationship continues to evolve to new levels of intimacy
- I cross a new relationship frontier
- Two people to run the household (yay!)
- Co-habitation could be more efficient
- The cats would like another lap to sit in
Breaking up PROs
- I get to keep my independence
- I get to keep my house that I love and adore so much
- I get to continue living next to fabulous neighbors
- I get to meet new men
- I get to continue focusing on my business
Okay, so what if all of those "best of" items were possible with ONE alternative? Wouldn't that be the one to go with? Methinks so.
By knowing it is totally possible for me to have the best of all worlds, that helped me dare to imagine what it might look like to have all those positive outcomes in one choice.
Which is what led to our buying a beautiful home together, where our relationship continues to evolve and we do a great job of running this household together. Where I experience the financial and emotional benefits of living with someone I love (it's working!); where I learn for the first time how to be happy under one roof with a man.
And still I kept my other house and happily rent it out to appreciative people (I get to be a landlady who says YES to dogs!). I stay in touch with old neighbors and now have even more amazing neighbors! I continue to meet amazing new people (without dating them) while maintaining a strong focus on my business and so much independence that most people don't even realize I have a boyfriend. (I'm clearly free of a boss, but most are surprised to hear I'm in a long term relationship!)
Wow, Universe is somethin' else, huh?! Yes, when we give it great material to work with.
I dare YOU to identify where you believed in sacrifice, compromise or settling and invite Universe to deliver ALL the goods to you. I think you'll like it.
Jeannette Maw is the Good Vibe Coach and founder of Good Vibe University. Find more of her manifesting inspiration at Good Vibe Blog.